Introduction
This was a solo project and the Concept/Design/Shooting/Directing/Editing/Photography was all done by myself, with the help of few lovely peers stated on the end credit of each video.
The Inspiration & The Why
tend to be a compelling experience that potentially
have dramatic effects on the observer's behaviour.
...Displays of pain and suffering and other person's
reactions provide powerful examples of interpersonal
behaviour with the immediate and long-term effects on
the observer potentially of considerable importance."
-Kenneth D. Craig-
This project is an attempt to express pains of which the mind can conceive yet lacks an effective tool of expression. My work is essentially about what I feel, the abstract thoughts without a form flowing in my mind like a constant headache. This project was a way of curing one of those headaches by finding a way to understand it.
Pain as a subject had an immediacy for me, since I had just spent almost a year helping rescued and neglected horses from mild to severe physical and emotional abuse, go through healing. This spring, a dear soul passed away, forcing me to face the pain of mourning, which brought on the frustration of the inexpressible even more passionately.
There was an unavoidable need to express, and this was an attempt to understand the abstract thoughts that was yet to become an intelligible form.
(Excerpts from my dissertation commentary. A copy is available on this site.)
The Concept:
I needed a concrete idea to start bouncing my concepts off of, especially since this project was being conceived in an academic surrounding. I came across the Japanese aesthetic philosophy, Yugen, which expressed so beautifully the initial concept.
Its quality may be suggested by the sight of a thin cloud veiling the moon
or by autumn mist swathing scarlet leaves on mountainside. If one asked
where in these sights lies the yugen, one cannot say, and it is not
surprising that a man who fails to understand this truth is likely to
prefer the sight of a clear, cloudless sky. It is quite impossible to
explain wherein lies the interest or the remarkable nature of yugen."
-Shotetsu, 1381-1459-
The Process:
I inspired the performers and the performers inspired me, and it was my reponsibility as the project's creator to curate and present all the inspirations to its best.
Time and resource available was very limited. I came across some amazing fashion film being created in London by the fashion pioneer Nick Knight and his formal assistant Ruth Hogben. This inspired the possibilities of using the video as a medium.
Since I was a solo artist and had a very limited time with the performers and studio time, Improvisation was a logical choice. I provided the performers with a basic concept, designed the characters and set up a simple environment. The shooting lasted from 25minutes to 3hours depending on the availability of the performer and studio. There were at least 4 cameras set up since there would be no reshooting.
I took these footages and spent long hours watching them and intuitively producing the first edits. The background music played a considerable part of the success of each video. Curation of all the materials collected from various talents I casted to focus it to one vision was a challenge, but a productive one.
The edits that you see on this site is the latest cuts that I have done after I finished my MA course.
A Comment:
I consider this project, these videos, to be a great achievement with what limited resources and time I had available. I hope to have the opportunity and support to develop it into a professional production, something that will reach and awe a greater audience base, sharing the experience of the inexpressible pain.